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Post by colleen4ever on Aug 18, 2007 15:25:37 GMT -5
Uh...got that except for the pizzas, I forgot all about those.
Hope you like my chapter even though it's rather long. Let me know what you think!
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Post by GundamZero on Aug 18, 2007 22:17:25 GMT -5
It's great! I loved the romantic bit with Hunter and Colleen, the team reuniting, and the Pizza Cats finally meeting the Sultan. I'll add in the bit with the pizzas.
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Post by colleen4ever on Aug 18, 2007 22:31:57 GMT -5
OK, I' so eager to see how it looks, ad your new chapter!
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Post by GundamZero on Aug 20, 2007 1:26:35 GMT -5
I took care of the errors you pointed out. Thank you for helping me out!
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Post by colleen4ever on Aug 20, 2007 12:24:48 GMT -5
No problem, but there's one more. You shpould move the part whrre Hunter and Colleen fall alseep to the very end cause where you have it it doesn't make much sense. Also, you should have Hunter volenteer to sleep on the sofa or something, don't wanna send the wrong idea!
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Post by GundamZero on Aug 20, 2007 13:20:32 GMT -5
Thanks again for the suggestions, and for proofreading it for me. I went through it again and made the corrections. What was your favorite part?
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Post by colleen4ever on Aug 20, 2007 17:31:22 GMT -5
I liked the part where Huntr's Mother is meeting Colleen, I just lov their dialauge. But you forgot to delete the sentance where Hunter and Colleen fall alseep before they have the pizzas.
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Post by GundamZero on Aug 20, 2007 20:41:29 GMT -5
I'll change that. How's chapter Eleven coming along?
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Post by colleen4ever on Aug 21, 2007 1:24:33 GMT -5
It's done. Thanks for posting it up!
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Post by GundamZero on Aug 21, 2007 22:41:02 GMT -5
No prob! Chapter Twelve is now up. Give it a look, and tell me what you think.
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Post by colleen4ever on Aug 21, 2007 22:50:33 GMT -5
I love it and the song is prfect.
What did you think of mine?
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Post by GundamZero on Aug 22, 2007 16:04:27 GMT -5
It was great! My favorite part was when everyone started giving their blessings to Hunter and Colleen. I just posted chapter fourteen, and I'll be waiting for your next one.
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Post by colleen4ever on Aug 22, 2007 17:31:56 GMT -5
I loved it. The vows were special and perfect. The wedding itself was sweet, touvhing and heeartwarming, but you forgot to have Huntr kiss the bride at the end! Com on...ya know he wants ta!
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Post by GundamZero on Aug 23, 2007 13:39:54 GMT -5
Thanks. I took care of the errors that my computer made in both Chapters (14 and 15.) It was being a real pain last night, and kept erasing data, so I cleaned up the hard drive of some old stuff. It's fine now. I know it's not exactly Road Rovers, but it's still cool. Here's a clip from one of my favorite shows of the 80's, Airwolf. The helicopter in the show, which the show was named for, was an awesome super helicopter. It was capable of high subsonic speeds without afterburners, and with it's 'burners, it could hit Mach 1.5, or 960 mph. It was armed with 4 30mm cannons, 2 40mm cannons, and a tri-tubed, missile firing ADF pod, which could fire several types of missiles, including anti-tank Hellfires, heat-seeking Copperhead AAM Air-to-Air Missiles, radar-guided Maverick AAM's, and Airwolf was also nearly indestructible, able to withstand even a direct hit from a laser, thanks to it's highly advanced molecular-bonded armor. Airwolf vs. Redwolf (Redwolf is the black and red Airwolf duplicate, built by a lunatic. Airwolf is the one in Black and White.) www.youtube.com/watch?v=9QTSj7NrdcY
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Post by colleen4ever on Aug 23, 2007 17:18:46 GMT -5
Thanks. I took care of the errors that my computer made in both Chapters (14 and 15.) It was being a real pain last night, and kept erasing data, so I cleaned up the hard drive of some old stuff. It's fine now. No, it's NOT! Now Chatr 15 only has the first aragraph and that's IT! Look for yourself.
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