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Post by colleen4ever on Aug 4, 2007 18:19:26 GMT -5
It's good, but I think Colleen lost her temper too quikly here. You should at first say something like 'Excuse me?; Or sometying, Then have Batman get ven MORE chovanistic, saying things like 'Just leav it to us men',,,and THAT'S wat should REALLY tick them BOTH off!
Just my opinion..
Also when Hunter proposes again to Collen, you should hav him mention something like he was gonna give it to hr for their anniversary, but this was more fitting.
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Post by GundamZero on Aug 4, 2007 22:42:26 GMT -5
That's what I'm gonna do. Thanks for the suggestions on improving the story.
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Post by colleen4ever on Aug 5, 2007 0:49:50 GMT -5
No problem. When Hunter and Colleen get bak, why don't you have Master surprise them with a small cake to have a mini-recption as well. KInd of to show them even though he didn't approve of them leaving the team, he IS still on their side!
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Post by GundamZero on Aug 5, 2007 9:51:12 GMT -5
I think I'll do that. Thanks again for the ideas.
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Post by colleen4ever on Aug 5, 2007 12:16:03 GMT -5
No problem. I figured Master would be on their side even though they left the team in the iddle of a battle. He didn't approve but he knew why they did it.
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Post by GundamZero on Aug 5, 2007 22:08:48 GMT -5
Yeah, and like I said, he's even going to have Cassie and Alexander help him set up the party for when their mom and dad come home. While the Rovers are celebrating, Batman and Robin get chewed out by The Master. Here's the scene:
Hunter: "Ahhhh...it's great to be home..." Colleen: "Huntie...now that we've stopped Parvo, Groomer, and Joker, and made it back safely, let's go and see what kind of a surprise The Master has for us." Hunter: "Sounds good to me, sweetheart." *the team enters the rec room, and the twins rush and hug their parents* Cassie: "Mommy...me and Alexander helped set this up." Colleen: "Oh my...you are such a precious little darling...you and your brother both." Master: "Batman, Robin, I'd like to have a little 'chat' with you." Hunter: "I'm gonna go join my wife, my twins, and the rest of the team and have some cake. You two, no cake for you." Colleen: "I hope you two blokes have aspirin in those utility belts, you're gonna need it!" Master: "I am very disappointed in you. Colleen, Samantha, and Kasha are all very capable fighters, despite being females, and you nearly got my team, which I assembled to keep the world safe from criminals like Parvo, Groomer, and Joker, killed, since you refused to see that women are just as capable of fighting as men are. Hunter has never acted that way. He's always treated Colleen as an equal, along with both Samantha and Kasha. Even Blitz has matured, since marrying Samantha, and the team is far better off because of it. You're lucky Hunter and Colleen came back when they did, because if I had lost any of these brave, heroic Rovers due to your foolish attitude, what Colleen, or even Muzzle would have done to you, would be mild compared to what I'd do. Now, I BELIEVE YOU OWE BOTH HUNTER AND COLLEEN AN APOLOGY!!!"
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Post by colleen4ever on Aug 6, 2007 0:30:41 GMT -5
YOW!!! Look out when Master gets angry! But how did Huntr and Colleen know about the party if it was a surprise?
But I like it how he chewd them out. Way to go, Master!!
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Post by GundamZero on Aug 6, 2007 9:26:00 GMT -5
The Master tells them that he has a surprise waiting for them when he gets back, when Hunter radioes in to let everyone at home know that they're coming home safe.
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Post by colleen4ever on Aug 6, 2007 12:21:16 GMT -5
Yeah, bet Colleen is touched when she sees the cake and says something like, 'You didn't have to do that!'
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Post by GundamZero on Aug 6, 2007 20:43:42 GMT -5
Yes, she is. The Master replies with, "After all you've done, and seeing as how special this occasion is, I felt that it was only right to let you have a small ceremony in order to let you both know that I, and the entire team, will always be at your side, no matter what. Now, Hunter, and Colleen, go and enjoy your special time with your children and the rest of the team. You all deserve it."
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Post by colleen4ever on Aug 6, 2007 21:43:42 GMT -5
Aw, the Master can be really nice sometimees!
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Post by GundamZero on Aug 6, 2007 22:13:19 GMT -5
I know. Once Batman and Robin get done being chewed out, Batman looks at Colleen, and says, "We've really learned a valuable lesson. From now on, Robin and I promise never to talk down to a woman again." Blitz: "Good. I can tell you from experience, Colleen is NOT someone you want to pick a fight with. It still hurts just thinking about all the times she set me straight." Colleen: "Well, Blitz, that was then. We're okay now. As for you two, I accept your apology. Now, you'd better hope Huntie does too." Hunter: "I accept, just don't ever talk like that to my wife, or any other woman again." Batman: "We promise, we won't." Robin: "Yeah, that goes DOUBLE for me." Hunter: "Good. Well, we'll be seeing ya!" Batman. "Farewell, Rovers." *the two teams of heroes shake hands, then Batman and Robin head back to the Batmobile, and drive away.*
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Post by colleen4ever on Aug 7, 2007 0:52:06 GMT -5
Yeah...and of cours a nice romantic bedroom scene between Hunter and Colleen to wrap u the fic! Can't wait to see it when it's done!
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Post by GundamZero on Aug 7, 2007 9:43:49 GMT -5
Of course. The Rovers arrive in Hawaii, enjoy the tropical sunset, then they go to their rooms for the night. Hunter makes sure that Colleen knows that she'll always be his one and only love.
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Post by colleen4ever on Aug 7, 2007 12:27:16 GMT -5
AND his equal in every way, shaspe, and form, don't forget that! MOST important to the story, she is his equal, completely and totally.
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